A letter to my baby girl on the first day I learned of you

Sweet baby Girl, 

Tonight is the first night I learned of you. I was talking to your Aunt Jessie when the phone rang. I practically hung up on her when I saw our agency on the other line. My heart stood still in my chest. 
Jerry called and said, “If you think this is Christmas call, you are wrong. If your think this is New Years call you are wrong. But if you Thing this is the day you were matched with a birth family, you are right.  My world started spinning, my heart got caught in my throat. I just stood there smiling, speechless. 

Then that very second I heard your daddy’s car in the driveway so I ran to the door put Jerry on speaker phone and made him repeat the whole thing over again. The smile on your daddies face was one I’ve never before.  I can’t even describe it but you’ll see it soon. I have a feeling that’s his smile just for you.

Jerry told of of your first mommy and daddy and how much they love you. I’m excited to meet them. They told us that you were due March 1st. Next they said something that made my lose my breath, something that changed my life forever, something that woke my heart up. They said that you were girl! 
I screamed for joy and Jerry and Debbie joked saying it’s good to know that Amber is still there. I was so quiet on the phone because I was trying to soak it all up, I wanted to remember everything. Luckily I have your daddy to help with that, he pulled out his phone and started taking notes. The moment where it all sank in and became real was when Jerry began to tell us that your mommy and daddy had a name in mind for you. When they said the name Violet, I saw your face for the first time. I saw my baby girl and my heart melted. That was the split second you became my daughter and it was also the moment you gave me what my heart needed most. You made me a momma. 

As I’m sitting here writing this I just want you to know that I’ll do whatever I can to make you feel complete, chosen, and cherished because thats what I’ve prayed for my whole life and tonight you were my answer.  

It is my hope that your first mommy and daddy will always have a place in your life because I want you to feel double the love. 
I love you already baby girl, to the moon and back
Love, Mommy

Anonymous Donor

4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.


As many of you know, our friends Steve and Janet Johnson have blessed us by fundraising in order to help close the gap in our adoption costs. 

This morning were notified that an anonymous donor has agreed to match each pledged placed by midnight tonight.   How amazing is that?  

It’s so amazing to see Jesus using the Johnson’s to help fulfill his promise to us.  And now this? Our hearts are so unbelievably full of hope. 

This special reminder of our promise was just on time too. (For my heart)  Because to be honest, this wait has a tendency to have its highs and lows, and I was at a low. 

He is so faithful and we are both so incredibly greatful for our anonymous donor, The Johnson’s and each of you who have donated, shared our story, and prayed for us during this journey. 

With all our love-Julio & Amber

Oh how he loves us. 

****Side note: We are still here, we are still adopting. Thanks for waiting with us***

I went to enter my work from home home office and in passing, caught a glimpse of promise. The sun was shining in and that little owl’s eyes caught mine. My heart just felt so content and excited for what’s to come. It was such a simple and quick moment, but I know it was from Jesus.

I’ll be singing this song in my heart today…

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me

And oh

How He loves us oh

Oh how He loves us

how He loves us oh

Thank you just doesn’t cut it…

Thanks to all of your donations and gracious prayers, we were able to pay our Social Service fee in full. Today, we mailed it to our agency along with our signed & notarized Financial Agreement. 


Our God is bigger that any obstacle. Thank you for helping us move this mountain! 

“Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Mark 11:23

Home Study Update:

Alright ya’ll, your prayers were definitely felt,  our home study went great!!!  It was so exciting to talk more in depth about our parenting goals, spiritual goals, birth mom relationship goals, and the dynamic of open adoption and all opportunities it brings, along with our “preferences”. We got the “Go ahead” to get our fingerprinting and physicals done.  The most important and exciting “Go ahead”… was to begin putting together our family profile book for potential birth mothers to look at!!  Talking more about birth mothers and their concerns, thought processes, and stories really challenged me. In a good way, but in a way that is kind of prickly on my heart. For example, remember in one of my early blog entries, when I wrote about this quote?

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Well, it’s just so true. Hearing stories about birth mothers and what they face just makes my heart hurt. Today, I walked through the baby aisle at Walmart and for the first time, I felt a flutter in my heart. I spent a solid half hour looking at items and really letting myself feel like a momma to be for the very first time. I took a picture because I wanted to use it to thank all the folks who keep donating (some of you 3-4 times.) I want you guys to know how thankful I am for the opportunity to become a mom. I also feel like I need to ask you all for one more thing. Will you begin to pray for our birth mother and all birth mothers? Because not long ago, this aisle made my heart ache and when they walk through this aisle, I know it must do the same…
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With love and grattitude,
Amber

What does the Appalachian Trail and our Adoption have in common?

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It has been a little while since I have updated on here. Mostly because we have been so busy but also because there is just no fancy way to say…We are still waiting!  While waiting may sound boring, our fundraising has been anything but boring.  Mr. Johnson sums up what we have been up to best in his latest blog entry. Read his interview here…Big Steve interview’s Julio and Amber on all things Adoption

The Johnson’s are also helping our fundraising efforts. While Steve hikes the Appalachian Trail, you can make a pledge per mile from the safety of your couch, or wherever. 🙂

By the way this man and his wife Jan are pretty much the coolest adventure seeking, people serving, Jesus loving- folks we have ever met.  Read more here… Big Steve’s excellent Appalachian Trail Adventure

 

I’ll post an update on how the Home study visit went and what’s next for us soon.  On to more forms, required reading, and online training now… (Exciting ♥)

 

Love always,  Amber